driving in the rain, accidents all around me. Jersey city nightmares and Upper Saddle river snobery makes me crazy.
I enter into these little dramas one after another as people let me know all there problems. They don't even know me!
Why do they unload on me and, I wonder if I unloaded on them, what they would do?

The rain is never going to stop! My joints ache again, and badly. Why? I don't know, but I heard about a fast that you do for two weeks. I 'm going to try it. You drink a mixture of water, maple syrup, lemon juice and cayenne pepper. I guess I'll try anything at htis point!

I have to write more on this page. I have been zoned in on getting the news pages going that I have been ignoring my inner self. Its wierd but I have been feeling ok for a couple of weeks now but my head hasn't caught up yet. The pain is down to a 2 out of ten which is great, so why am I feeling as if I am still in pain? I need to get out of this mindset! But all I want to do is sleep. I know that wanting to sleep alot is a big flag for depression but as I am not giddy with happiness I do not believe that I am depressed (clinically speaking)
As I search for my soul the pain was a focus, a lens, that helped me see through the 'reality' that was around me and see the truth.
The trick I guess is seeing that same truth in the light of a painfree day.

This night, which as we say is contemplation, causes two kinds of darkness or purgation in spiritual persons according to the two parts of the soul, the sensory and the spiritual. Hence one night of purgation is sensory, by which the senses are purged and accommodated to the spirit; and the other night or purgation is spiritual, by which the spirit is purged and denuded as well as accommodated and prepared for union with God through love. The sensory night is common and happens to many. These are the beginners of whom we will treat first. The spiritual night is the lot of very few, those who have been tried and are proficient, and of whom we will speak afterward.

From the 'Dark night of the soul'
See link to to the left